National News

Dogma Drives Council to Destruction

Despite a spirited battle from the Liberal Democrats the historic hedgerow that runs along the side of Cardington Road in Bedford has been consigned to the compost heap of History. The Council's Executive committee made the thoughtless decision at their meeting on Wednesday night. "This is a victory of Dogma over Common sense." Said Liberal Democrat Leader Michael Headley. "I don't believe that allowing one bus to get to the town centre three minute quicker is worth the loss of this hedgerow and the thousands of pounds of council tax payers money that the County Council want to spend. I do not believe that this vandalism is necessary in order to ensure that the Park and Ride scheme is a success!" "This fight is not over." Said local ward councillor and deputy group leader Dan Rogerson. "I am very worried about widening this road. The risk of flooding and the danger to the nearby houses is too great. Good sense could still win through at the Planning committee when they discuss the hedge's preservation order.

11 Jan 2001
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Chuka Umunna

Policies to the fore!

Jo Swinson now has to share the limelight with policies For reasons which may become clear after the election, it is evident that the strategy adopted by our headquarters has somehow missed its target. Swinsonmania has apparently not shaken the ramparts of our FPTP system. Johnson has scooped up the dregs of the Brexit Party`s arrogance and niaivety (and vote!) and despite a widespread recognition that he is a lying toad, there is a fear amongst the small `c` conservative voters that not to vote for Bojo may result in a government led by their nemesis, J Corbyn esquire.

1 Dec 2000
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Pandora

The inexorable rise of Tom Bursnall, controversial Chair of Conservative Future, scary young Hague-a-like and ever-obliging darling of these pages, seems to have hit an obstacle. Some CF pundits, apparently, had their money on Tory Boy as a dead cert to do a Billy and become Conservative Head Boy before his 21st birthday. But recent revelations have somewhat shaken this assertion. "Any old man can drink 14 pints, but whether they can still put a sentence together is another thing," a sober Bursnall recently confessed. "I start to wobble and shake after several beers, and probably couldn't stomach 14." How sweet: a student who can't hold his liquor. Perhaps Mummy's little ray of sunshine's just not destined for Tory greatness, after all.

P
25 Sep 2000
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Liberal Democrats launch Green Switch Campaign

Climate chaos is the greatest threat facing our society. Nine of the hottest ten years on record have been since 1990. Just in Britain, we have suffered two floods in 2002 that were meant to occur only every 30 years. We have had the wettest six months since records began in the eighteenth century, and the hottest summer temperatures in 2003. Storm surges, flood damage and droughts are rising. The Thames Barrier has been raised 55 times in the last five years, 12 times in the previous five.

29 Aug 2000
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